My lovely Dad, Andrew Downes

Andrew and Paula Downes

Blog by Paula Downes

Posted: 16/01/2026

I wrote this shortly after my Dad died, thinking I would read it out at his funeral. In the event, my sister, Anna delivered a beautiful eulogy and I sang a song written by my Dad.

I would like to thank the figure in charge for giving me such a gorgeous, hilarious, kind, lovely, supportive, and extremely clever Dad. 

My Dad has always been there for me - a lovely, calming figure who always said the right thing to de-stress me, either with some outrageous joke, which would result in a room full of people rolling around with laughter, or the perfect words to make me feel better. I vividly remember him calming me down when I got very upset about death after reading Little Women when I was about 12. He told me that life is a great adventure; a journey that we are all on together; and that it is exciting; and that we should enjoy it. Those words give me a lot of comfort now and I say the same thing to my own children if they express similar worries.

When I was growing up, he used to tell me to take a break from practice if I was obviously too tired.

He strongly advised me not to continue with my Maths A Level back in 1996, because I was working non-stop with no breaks. 

He really helped me to calm down when I was a stressed-out new Mum. I would be fretting about routines, feeding, sleeping, crying, and he would just pick up the baby and give it lots of love and humour, usually by blowing raspberries and singing, and he really taught me how to enjoy my daughters.

Andrew Downes with one of his grandchildren

In the December just before he died, I was so grateful to him for telling me I might as well just keep going after all my hard work so far on my new career in accountancy: this was when I told him I felt like giving up when preparing for my latest exam.

My Dad had the perfect work ethic, which I will always carry with me. He worked intensively every single morning, right up until going into hospital on Christmas Day, creating one amazing composition after another. He would spend the rest of the day cooking and relaxing. 

Andrew Downes composing

He did the same when I was growing up. He never missed a day of work at the Conservatoire, would get up super early to beat the rush hour into Birmingham, and then, if there were no concerts, he would get home in time to watch the Demon Headmaster and Neighbours with me while my Mum was teaching.

He worked extremely hard, but also relaxed, and was a very strong presence in our family. He absolutely loved his holidays, and I loved them too. I remember hilarious car journeys, him smoking his pipe and reading a book, proudly coming from the Boulangerie to our tent with a pile of freshly baked baguettes, playing tennis or badminton with us, gorgeous country walks, hilarious meals out.

Left to right: Anna, Paula, Cynthia, Andrew Downes

I was so lucky that he had the most beautiful natural singing voice I have ever heard and that he encouraged me my whole life with my singing, helping me to continue to believe in myself in a very difficult Music World. He taught me singing in such a natural way and was so careful to make sure I looked after my voice. 

He was a massive support in helping me to get my Choral Scholarship to Trinity Cambridge. He helped me to practice exactly the right things, exactly the right amount, saying all the right things. He came with me to the Choral Trial and helped me warm up my voice in the grounds of St John’s! He would always tell me that he didn’t have the temperament for singing, because he would get so nervous he would actually be sick, but that he believed I did have the temperament for it. Whether that was true or not, it made me believe I did!

The song I chose to sing at his funeral, The Walk, from the song cycle, Lost Love, meant a lot to me for many reasons. It has gorgeous melodies and harmonies that conjure my Dad up at the time he was writing. He was always talking about different generations existing in different dimensions and I now see this clearly through his compositions. How amazing is that, that I can conjure him up at an exact point in time!

This music also brings back for me the first time I performed it at the Freshers' Concert at Trinity. I had met some amazing new friends, and we wanted to perform something together, so we needed to find a piece for soprano, flute, piano and cello. I asked my Dad if he had written anything and he had! We had such a good time rehearsing and performing this beautiful work and I remember it going down really well at the concert. My Mum and Dad came to listen, as they always did, supporting me all the way and charming all of my friends.

I went on to make a recording of this work as part of a CD of songs composed by my Dad, that I made with my now husband, pianist David Trippett in 2000. My Dad organised for the recording to be made at Birmingham Conservatoire. At the time David and I were both students at Cambridge and these were some of the first songs we performed together. Making a CD recording was very exciting, and we had great fun doing it. Of course, we absolutely had to go to one of my Dad’s favourite Italian restaurants near the Conservatoire for lunch: The Galleria, a gorgeous place with old wine bottles, covered in dried candle wax, hanging from the ceiling, red and white gingham table cloths, and the most delicious margherita pizza you have ever tasted. For this particular song cycle we had family friend, cellist Yvonne Parsons playing, and her friend Debbie Martin on the Flute.

Paradise Circus, Birmingham.
Back left to right: Debbie Martin, Paula Downes, Matthew O'Malley, Andrew Downes.
Front left to right: David Trippett, Yvonne Parsons

Grief is a strange thing, and it feels as though it is a very new experience for me, although it is a familiar feeling - like the feeling when you get back from holiday and feel the crushing weight of having to go back to normality, or that feeling of remembering something from the past like when your children were babies, and realising they aren’t anymore and you can’t get that time back. 

I keep thinking: I am done with this, can he come back now please?

I have also spent time trying search for him, on the internet, in my YouTube films, and on other people’s YouTube performances of his music. On one occasion I thought through actually getting on a train to go to Birmingham Conservatoire, to walk through the corridors, hearing the practice sessions of numerous instruments at once, smell the familiar smell, maybe visit his office. And then it hit me: they demolished that building a few years ago. I can’t go there to find him. These strange moments grab you at very odd times.

We are so grateful to have his music. That is the best place to find him. In the calm beauty of his long melodies and spacious harmonies. I was very close to my Dad. Every time I get upset that he is no longer here, I remind myself he is actually still here. So many things bring him into my mind. He is stitched into the fabric of my existence and always will be.

You can read many of the lovely comments made about him when he died here.

Andrew and Paula Downes

Read on: How the Philharmonia Recordings Came About

Blog by Paula Downes